Kristen Cheri Weiss

Writer, Editor, Ecologist, Connector of Ideas

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Journey Home

March 21, 2021March 21, 2021 / Kristen / Leave a comment

This is a short fiction piece I wrote nearly 10 years ago, while living in Australia. I can't remember what my mindset was exactly at the time, or where the inspiration came from. I suspect I was getting close to the end of my time in that country, contemplating what my next step down life's … Continue reading Journey Home

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Manifesting Universes

March 16, 2021 / Kristen / 2 Comments

We are each a manifesting universe, a potential brewing within ourselves Packed into infinitely small space, moments from bursting...

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What Do You Do

March 8, 2021March 8, 2021 / Kristen / 2 Comments

I wrote this poem in response to the innate fear that often manifests when you are presented with an opportunity you've asked for, that you want deeply, but that you are terrified to accept. Perhaps because you are afraid to fail, afraid to change, afraid of making the wrong choice. How do you let go … Continue reading What Do You Do

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Barn cat life. My new life. Very different from my last chapter. Discipline, ritual, physical labor, a three times daily commitment. Every day.
Hold what you love close, but without force. Express your love, extend it from your heart into your hands and out into the world. There are so many shadowed corners and forgotten nooks where love has long been absent. That absence has bred fear and longing, which easily devolves into resentment and greed in those unable to recognize what it is that will truly satisfy their hungry soul. I don't have many (or any) answers, but I can say that to love is to be both soft and rebellious at the same time. To love in the face of violence is a great act of protest and willpower, not easily accomplished. To love is not to condone, it is not to pacify; to love is to begin to dissolve the barriers that imprison us in imagined cells of otherness so that slowly, delicately, we can see the truth in our oneness that runs deeper than any lines on a map or threads of DNA. Is this the world where we will learn the lesson of love, or will it take many more iterations? Maybe all worlds and universes and realities are not separate, but one, in a way we may never fully comprehend.
C💛O💚L🧡E❤️R💙S
This year I explored deeper valleys and higher peaks than ever before in my life. I swam through dark, cold lakes of fear (sometimes barely keeping my head above water), and climbed ashore to bask in the momentary warmth of communion. I said No where I would previously say yes, and said Yes where I would previously had said no. Through all this I learned bits about myself and others, but perhaps more than that I learned that there are limits to how much we can know, rationally speaking. Instead, I'm starting to sense that we are in this life to experience living, to feed our souls through an ever flowing river of feelings that we can choose to channel towards growth or destruction, depending on our will. We aren't here to somehow overpower emotions or obtain perfection. We exist because we are part of it all, we are channels of energy and evolution and expression, and all of the angst and love that comes with it. The more years that pass, the more comfortable I become, relatively speaking, with knowing less and less, as long as I can feel more and more. Perhaps my perspective is all an illusion. But what is reality if not a shared dream within which we are all the protagonists and the extras. I'm thankful for all of the beautiful souls sharing this dream with me and lifting my spirits even through the deepest, darkest valleys. ❤️🏞️
Gratitude is the attitude for the season, right? I'm grateful for the ever present opportunity to learn and grow. Working with @meyerhorsemanship has been an extraordinary opportunity to learn how to connect with horses (like Autumn and Bella pictured here), and of course the horses teach me so much about being present, being perceptive, and being gentle but clear in my communication. I've grown from the challenges I've been through this year, I've learned about joy, about heartache, and spirit, and about ego. 🌟
This is Autumn. She is 18 years old, which in horse years is equivalent to being a wise older lady nearing retirement, but ideally with many golden years left. Autumn and I share many personality traits - we enjoy taking things slow, relaxing calmly in the warm sun, being scratched lovingly (Autumn on her bum and belly, me on my back and arms), and being allowed to explore at our own pace. But Autumn also teaches me that it takes awhile to truly know someone, we are constantly evolving, and we should respect each other's boundaries. She's had a long, full, and sometimes challenging life before ever meeting me. Autumn loves attention, but on her terms. She may not enjoy having her nose stroked or her mane brushed, and that's ok. She may not want to lift her hoof up for picking some days because she's a bit stiff or achy, and that's ok too. But she will always gladly accept a belly scratch and some sweet words of adoration. She may not come running when you show up to say hi, but her ears will pop forward and her almond eyes will relax in a subtle way that says "it's nice to see you". Horses, and most animals, teach us to recognize subtle cues, to stop projecting our own expectations, assumptions, and anxieties so that we can be more present in the current moment. They won't take out their past on you, but they may communicate ways that you can recognize and assuage traumas that remain. Humans get so stuck in our thoughts that we paint elaborate narratives over the simpler beauty of the external world. Animals help us strip some of that narrative away and pull us back into a realm of feeling instead of thinking. Thanks Autumn and all my horse and pup and other animal friends. Thanks @meyerhorsemanship for all the guidance and opportunity to explore with horses (and the beautiful photos!). Even when I'm feeling down or overwhelmed, I know that horse time will bring me joy. For that, I'm grateful.

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