Kristen Cheri Weiss

Writer, Editor, Ecologist, Connector of Ideas

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That Time I Made it to the Center of the Universe & Learned the Meaning of Life

June 12, 2021June 12, 2021 / Kristen / 1 Comment

One evening, not but a few months ago, I was transported to the center of the universe.

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"For such small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love."

I am so incredibly imperfect.

Connection: a poem for Feb 1st, written quickly and from the heart

I’m sitting just above the surging waters of a post-storm creek that flows through a canyon outside of the town of Ojai, California. I splurged on a two-day vacation for myself, a self-imposed retreat immersed in nature (from the glamping comfort of an RV) where I could practice a bit more presence, and perhaps chip away at some of the residue left by a constant buildup of internal dialogue. The creek, currently a river, is swift, navigating around rocks, boulders, and an abundance of vegetative debris. After several minutes, I begin to lose myself in the mesmerizing hiss of the whitewater, just a little. I try to follow the flow of water in real-time with my eyes, but the speed is too fast for my brain to keep up with. I envy those innumerable droplets of water, journeying at high speed without a thought about where their path might lead. How freeing it would be, to flow like a single droplet, smashing confidently against rocks without fear, no pain, breaking apart and reforming in each moment, in each millimeter of canyon traveled. I want to be a droplet carried in the weightless flood of billions of other droplets, gushing forth without reserve, the pace set by nature and fate and a million little previous happenings that led to this moment. And this moment. And this moment. A clear, indiscriminate droplet, that any second might evaporate into atmospheric nothingness—not disappeared, but merged with a universal flow of energy.

The cosmic horizon (a.k.a. the ‘edge’) of our universe is rapidly expanding, stretching the space between galaxies as it grows. According to some calculations, 97% of all galaxies in our universe are moving away from us faster than the speed of light, meaning that even though we may eventually observe the light they emitted billions of years ago, we will never be able to reach them. Every year, 20 million stars slip beyond our grasp. For those of us prone to existential melancholia, this is a hard fact to swallow. How can we find comfort and connection in a universe that is steadily pulling us apart? As conscious beings, we are at once a minuscule part of the universe, and incredibly uncommon.

Wishing you a heartfelt solstice. ✨

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